Astrid Korporaal
If all else fails (2020)
If all else fails
There will be the water
that seeps through my waking hours
darkening the edges of limbs,
muddying what you say a body should be
I will make myself a landscape to sink in to
The dotted lines of wise decisions
dropping suddenly and in broad daylight
into an embarrassment of deep, curving ripples
I will remember the scent of metal, chlorine and ammonia
are not just dreams of cages and tanks
but the flavors of earth and piss
The warmth of souls evaporating
I will call all songbirds back to me
and claim a version of sanity
that does not spiral into two
I will send the fire of the mirrored sun
Down to a heart submerged, like drowning cheek
into the furs of an animal